{"id":8444,"date":"2015-07-26T18:01:31","date_gmt":"2015-07-26T18:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/?p=8444"},"modified":"2015-07-26T18:23:26","modified_gmt":"2015-07-26T18:23:26","slug":"do-you-know-how-you-look","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/2015\/07\/do-you-know-how-you-look\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you know how you look?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Photo<\/a>The other day in the paper I saw a photograph of a politician, an older man. It wasn\u2019t a posed picture; it looked like he didn\u2019t know he was being captured on film. \u00a0The snapshot was anything but flattering. Every facial feature pointed downward. His eyes were cast downward. But more than that, his wrinkles and creases seemed to be weighed down, sagging, and his chin, in a giant flattened pout, had rutted into a circle of wrinkled flesh.<\/p>\n

The picture was so bad that I felt sorry for him. Not being particularly photogenic myself, I could empathize. Though politicians aren\u2019t held to the same impossible beauty standards as Hollywood, politicians\u2019 faces and public demeanor are scrutinized.\u00a0 It must be difficult. And this guy is older than me so it has to be even harder for him to adjust to these times when image is so important.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s even worse for women; even when we weren\u2019t all on the Internet, female politicians had to deal with this scrutiny of their physical appearance, and it\u2019s exponentially intensified in this day and age. Just think of how Hilary Clinton\u2019s looks have been described. Cankles really aren\u2019t a problem for men.<\/p>\n

Years ago I had an insight into my own image when Oprah Winfrey discussed \u201cresting face\u201d on her TV show. It made me go to the mirror and check out how I looked when my face was relaxed.\u00a0 It was scary.<\/p>\n

I looked like a bitch. I wouldn\u2019t want to approach me. I was a grumpy old lady, not the hip chick we all know I am.\u00a0 What once may have been haughty was crabby now.<\/p>\n

Google the phrase \u201cresting bitch face\u201d and you\u2019ll find lots of writing on the subject.<\/p>\n

Since that Oprah show I have made a conscious effort to change my resting face, to have my usual facial expression be one with upturned lips, not so much raised in a grin, as a gentle smile, with lips closed. It hasn\u2019t been easy to change something automatic, but I try.\u00a0 Sometimes I overdo it, which leads people to ask, \u201cWhat\u2019s so funny?\u201d \u00a0But to me this is preferable to people asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Upward readjustment of your expression can lift your face better than make-up and certainly more easily than surgery.<\/p>\n

But make no mistake, I am not telling you to smile. I know people get offended when they are told how to look. \u00a0Women have been told to smile in demeaning and unhelpful ways for ages. I\u2019m just writing so you\u2019re aware. You choose how you want to come off.<\/p>\n

Peace, love, and solace<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other day in the paper I saw a photograph of a politician, an older man. It wasn\u2019t a posed picture; it looked like he didn\u2019t know he was being captured on film. \u00a0The snapshot was anything but flattering. Every facial feature pointed downward. His eyes were cast downward. But more than that, his wrinkles […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2649,2646,12,2650,2385,2647,39,13,2643,2644,2648,2645,7,16,32],"class_list":{"0":"post-8444","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"tag-aging","8":"tag-appearances","9":"tag-ellen-wade-beals","10":"tag-facial-expression","11":"tag-oprah","12":"tag-oprah-winfrey-show","13":"tag-photography","14":"tag-poetry","15":"tag-resting-bitch-face","16":"tag-resting-face","17":"tag-scowl","18":"tag-smile","19":"tag-solace","20":"tag-solace-in-so-many-words","21":"tag-weighed-words","22":"entry","23":"has-post-thumbnail"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8444","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8444"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8444\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8449,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8444\/revisions\/8449"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8444"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8444"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/solaceinabook.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8444"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}