For instance, if I find myself thinking that I will never see my father again and I notice a profound sadness, I pay attention to what comes next. If I continue to deepen into the loss in such a way that I suffer more and more deeply, I take a deep breath. I acknowledge the absence that his death brings me. But I also acknowledge the many ways in which I continue to feel him, hear him, see him. In one such moment, I come to realize that although my father has been dead for four years my love for him has continued to grow in that time. Each day of my life the love I have for my father has gotten bigger, unimpeded by his physical absence. I love that thought! No one ever told me that “growing” the love we have for someone is not dependent upon their being physically alive. I could not have arrived at that thought if I had continued spiraling down deeper and deeper into my suffering at his absence. My intention is to honor his presence not his absence.
From: Healing Through the Shadow of Loss by Deborah Morris Coryell (Healing Arts Press, 2004).
submitted by Diane Grigg
allyson burns says
i am trying to track down, deborah morris coryell, after reading her book healing through the shadow of loss. i would be interested in any seminars or workshops that she may be involved with now. it appears that the shiva organization has been shut down.
Ellen Beals says
I don’t have any contact information. After receiving your comment I did a Google search and it does appear the goodgrief website (Shiva Organization) is not up any more. I am sorry I cannot be more helpful. Good luck with your search.
D Barnes says
She can be reached through the Center for Integrative Medicine:
http://integrativemedicine.arizona.edu/about/faculty/Coryell
Ellen Beals says
thanks!